DANCING WITH DANGER
Allowing People to Emotionally Control You
What is emotional question? We should first examine the word “emotions”. Your emotions are psychological and physical response to an experience or an event.
The way you subjectively view your circumstance determines how your mood will respond to that event either with a negative or positive emotion.
Some examples of emotions are: fear, anger, grief, confusion, love, sad, cautious, suspicious, unsettled, weary, hate, sorrow
Control is the power to influence and direct behavior. We all can admit we want control in our lives. Control is a common practice engaged from birth. We want what we want when we want it. For some, control becomes a process of self-validation and intrinsic satisfaction. Control helps some to recognize their self-worth and value to another. People that become overzealous on obtaining control attempt to dominate in everything they do to include relationships.
How do you allow someone to get into your head?
If you have experienced a dysfunctional family, past trauma, loss of hope, then you are highly vulnerable to becoming codependent on others. Codependent people usually feel the need to rescue or support others. Have you ever known someone to be mismatched with someone who is mediocre, deviant, or an underachiever? You find it hard to grasp how your friend or loved one who has such high character could involve themselves with someone who essentially brings them down.
Codependent people typically do not communicate their own personal struggles that are hidden by their accomplishments or vibrant personalities. They often deal with shame, low self-esteem, guilt, worthlessness, past trauma, or extreme loss. Events have shaped their minds to believe that they will only get better by being needed by someone else who needs to get better. They will go to extremes to rescue partners in their relationships who don’t want to be saved. They struggle with letting go of unhealthy relationships because they fear being alone.
People can only do what you allow. Your insecurities, self-perceptions, and denials offer a gateway for others to come in your mind and rule your life. People that have nothing valuable to offer you will manipulate a seemingly strong minded individual to believe that they are nothing without that individual in their life. If you struggle with the fear of failure, then you may find yourselves staying in an abusive relationship because you don’t want to fail.
If this resembles you…begin to peel back the layers. #icanlady
