When Fear Grips you by the Throat
Anxiety: Fear from anticipation of future threats with a behavioral disturbance. Doesn’t happen now but could possible happen later.
Anticipating a scenario is a valuable skill. It allows you to plan and prepare to devise strategies that will get you what you want. However, when someone begins to introduce the emotions of fear into their mind then they begin fighting against perceptions or ghost. So instead of being a navigator you become a ghostbuster. You avoid facing your fear and become stuck in the process. We see this for people in lasting relationships who never marry.
Running and Away From Your Problems
People find different ways to deal with their problems. We all have heard the phrase “deal with your problems before they deal with you.” Then there’s Newton’s Third Law “For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction”. This explains why people have a general tendency to avoid a problem that entices fear. The greater the fear, the greater the avoidance. People struggle trying to balance the risks associated with making decisions that could result in pain or gain. If the perception of pain is greater, then you will likely avoid the risk. If you think positive about a situation then you are more likely to engage in the process of getting to your goal.
Calming the Anxious Mind
1. Let go of your past and accept what went wrong so you can embrace the new potential for change. Every day is a new day. Letting go might mean you have to forgive someone or something.
2. Learn to assess risks. Thinking through a matter helps you to be more prepared for the outcomes of your choice. You can accept the bad because you know that it was a likely chance to occur. You can gain greater acceptance from failures/successes when you learn to navigate through a situation.
3. Face your failures and see them as opportunities to improve. Experience is the greatest teacher. People who don’t listen to others will likely make the same continuous mistakes because they won’t listen to themselves. They become fools.
4. Ask for help. Let someone know the blocks you’re facing in life. Wisdom from experienced people that care about you will help you recover more quickly from a setback.
5. Be anxious for nothing, but submit everything to God in prayer.
6. Tell yourself ICAN. If you can believe it then you will achieve it.
7. Be okay with not meeting personally established deadlines. Life isn’t over at 44 because you haven’t found a husband.
Shannon Battle, Licensed Professional Counselor