It amazes me how many times we have to retract our words because they hurt, displeased, or offended someone in the wrong way. Understanding how people respond to your humor, banter, and general conversation can get overwhelming. I mean I get it, but there are times I don’t. It’s like you have to learn to speak a foreign language just for someone to get what you’re trying to say. If you live, you will fail in communication, and have to eat up some of your words.
You are shaped by your experiences, upbringing, and environment. The cultural dialect of households let alone communities can vary is so many ways. Think about rude statements people in celebrity or power positions make to the public only to later end up apologizing for those remarks. Will you ever be able to say what you feel without shame, judgement, or misunderstanding? The answer is unapologetically YES!….when you’re over 50. By then nothing matters but enjoying the rest of your life in freedom until you die.
No really, it’s important that our good is never evil spoken of…that is a biblical reference. Do you want people to look at you as though you’re a devil or an unapproachable snob? Are you that confident that the opinions of others to include those close to you really no longer matters? Well, if you answered yes, stop reading immediately, and wait on my next blog because this won’t help you.
A lonely life is NEVER fun!
Keep pushing at people with your words and they will vacate your presence swiftly or ignore you. There is no fun in talking when no one is interested in hearing you.
Well, you might say, “I am who I am” or “Nobody can tell me what to do, I’m grown”. That may be true, but it doesn’t make it right. Even if you owned an island you likely wouldn’t live there alone. To adapt in this world and make an imprint you are going to need people. Why? Because people need you! You are a gift to this world (even with your cynical mean self). You have the ability to control your tongue.
I know you want to clap back or check someone that gets on your last nerves. But, how can it be done in a manner in which you don’t have to say I’m sorry or walk back your statements? It’s simple, consider the needs of others over yours. Master the art of winning in all of your conversations. This means leaning in a little to walk away forward and not backwards.
Do you know how to make a relevant point without being hurtful? Do you have what it takes to get your message heard correctly the first time?
If not, follow these easy steps and you’ll be sure to win in every conversation.
1. Listen attentively
2. Don’t be quick to draw out the guns (answer/respond) without first thinking
3. Think ahead and ask yourself what the other person wants/needs
4. Say it with a smile
Too easy! Right?
Well, if it remains a struggle try recording your conversations and get feedback from someone’s judgement you trust. Never tweet out of your emotions or respond to a situation when you are being self-centered. Try the person centered approach and live a life with people who like being around you!
By Shannon Battle, Strategy Coach, Licensed Counselor
#1 Best Selling Amazon Author